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The only thing longer than Peter Crouch's trousers is his line in self-deprecation. The genial striker would be the first to chuckle and admit he is not Wayne Rooney. But Crouch may be England's best hope of compensating for the loss of the wonder boy.
Footballing Ferrari scrapped for Rodders in his Robin Reliant: Crouch for Rooney could never be a like-for-like replacement, but football is all about effectiveness, and although his detractors hate to admit it, the Liverpool man gets results.
Crouch's five appearances for England have ended with five wins. The team has scored 10 goals in the 231 minutes (less than 2 1/2 matches of playing time) he has spent on the field. His beneficial effect on Michael Owen, who has scored five times in 180 minutes operating alongside the big chap, is striking.
At home against Poland, Crouch came on with 23 minutes remaining and the score went from 1-1 to 2-1; against Argentina in Geneva, his 10 minutes as a substitute saw England go from 2-1 down to 3-2 winners; his last appearance was 25 minutes against Uruguay, during which he scored and helped turn a 1-0 deficit into a 2-1 win.
On statistics alone, there should be little debate about whom Sven Goran Eriksson should pick instead of Rooney; unless you want to argue that Crouch's impact coming off the bench is so extraordinary that it would be a pity to lose him as an "impact sub".
But there has always been an element of the beauty parade about national selection, and the anti-Crouch lobby builds its case on aesthetic grounds.
Crouch's club manager, Rafael Benitez, has ignored tall-ism all season. He takes a typically practical view of how Crouch could deputise for Rooney in Germany.
"He is not Rooney, but he's a different player. He hasn't got the pace of Rooney, but he is a little bit better than Rooney in the air, wouldn't you say?" Benitez said. "Rooney is a fantastic footballer, he can change a game, he can win games, but Crouch can do the same. He can give an assist, win in the air, keep the ball, play good passes.
"He's not the kind of target man you can say, 'Okay, stay there, we'll only pass you long balls'. The first time he was with us, when we were preparing to play Olympiakos in pre-season, a Spanish coach was watching our training and he said, 'Hey, he is really good, this player. Look at him, short passes, both feet'. And against Olympiakos he did what we call in Spanish a 'bicycle'; you call it a stepover; and went on a dribble.
"Maybe in other countries as a manager you might prefer another player, but the way you play in England, to have a target man but with his game intelligence and qualities, it's difficult to find better."
Rooney has given England an exotic dimension; the Benitez plan would be to replace him with Crouch, go 4-4-2 and play to traditional English strengths.
The method of minimum disruption would involve keeping the 4-4-1-1 system Rooney has brought to England, placing Joe Cole behind Michael Owen; although this involves the assumption that somebody untried like Stewart Downing can satisfactorily fill Cole's vacancy on the left. Cole himself would like a crack at being England's No 10, but though he certainly has the technical gifts and possibly the imagination and decisiveness for the role, it is doubtful that he could shoulder the physical burden working alongside a small front partner such as Owen demands.
Martin Jol, the Spurs coach, would like to see Cole playing behind Owen, but with Crouch also there leading the line. This would mean going to a diamond formation in midfield, with Cole at the top and Steven Gerrard at the base.
Tony Adams believes England can find the penetration lost if Rooney is unavailable by reintroducing the "Christmas Tree" formation that Terry Venables used with almost glorious results at Euro 96.
"I'd bring Sol Campbell in to partner John Terry and push Rio Ferdinand forward as a holding midfielder, with Gerrard and Frank Lampard ahead of him, Owen as striker and Joe Cole behind Owen on the left," Adams said.
He added: "The difficulty is what you do on the right, because you need the players supporting Owen to get up and join in, and I'm not sure David Beckham can do that. I'd let him try, but if not, be bold and have Shaun Wright-Phillips or Aaron Lennon ready to play on the right."
Paul Parker was one of the men who emerged as a star of England's 1990 World Cup team, which flourished after Bobby Robson changed formations early on. He believes it proves that once Plan A has failed, there can be mileage in Plan B.
"I'd play Crouch and Owen and keep Cole on the left," said Parker. "We've been saying all year that England have got the best squad since 1966, and when you talk about a squad, you're talking about a group of players. The rest will still be there even if Rooney doesn't make it. He's irreplaceable, but England have still got a great chance." |
