Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.
St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it." The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate.
St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?"
Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered, "about 1,500." "That's right! You may enter."
The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for awhile.
Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so the chauffeur climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel. The Pope proceeds to hop on Route 95 and starts accelerating to see what the limo could do. He gets to about 90 miles per hour and, WHAM, there are the blue lights of our friendly State Police in his mirror.
He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window. Seeing who it was the trooper says "just a moment please I need to call in."
The trooper radio's in and asks for the chief. He tells the chief "I've got a REALLY important person pulled over and I need to know what to do." The chief replies "Who is it, not Ted again ?" The trooper says,"No, even more important." The chief replies, "It's the Governor, is it?" The trooper replies "No, even more important." "It's isn't the President is it?" "No, more important", replies the trooper. "Well WHO the HECK is it!", screams the chief. "I don't know" says the trooper. "But he's got the Pope as a chauffeur!"
A young couple were on their way to get married when they were killed in a car accident. When they got to heaven they asked St. Peter if they could see God. St. Peter said " I think I can arange that". The next day the couple received a call to come before the throne. The Lord asked them what they wanted to see him for. They said " We know this is heaven and we are glad to be here, but we would still like to get married". The Lord said " I'll have to get back to you on that" and dismissed them from the throne room. Ten years later the Lord calls them back to his throne room and asked if they still wanted to get married. They said with great excitement " Yes , we sure do". The Lord said " This preacher is going to marry you today". They got married and left happy. A few months later they asked to see the Lord again and said " We know this is heaven, but we can not get along and we want a divorse". The Lord said " Now look it took me ten years to get a preacher up here , if you think I'm going to get a lawyer up here your crazy".
A little mouse died and went to the Pearly Gates where St. Peter met him and invited to come in, but the mouse told him he wanted to look around first. St Peter said that was okay with him. After looking around the mouse approached St. Peter and told him he would like to stay but it is too big there and he would get tired running around all day. St. Peter thought for awhile and said he had just the thing for him, a pair of roller skates so the mouse decided to stay. Soon a cat died and went to the Pearly Gates where St. Peter met him and invited him in also, the cat wanted to look around too. After spotting the mouse on roller skates the cat said, "Boy oh boy, you have meals on wheels I will stay."
Adam & Eve had the perfect marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married and she didn't have to hear about how well his mother cooked!
A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman who had just passed away.
At the end of the Service, the pall-bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan.
They open the casket and find that the woman is actually still alive. She lives for ten more years and then dies.
A ceremony is again held at the same church and at the end of the ceremony, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "AND WATCH OUT FOR THAT WALL!"
Akkor nevessunk egyet erre a nagy fesultsegre,hahhaha
A middle-aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near death experience. During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30 years to live.
Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figures since she's got another 30 years she might as well make the most of it.
She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding by. She arrives in front of God and complains, "I thought you said I had another 30 years." God replies, "I didn't recognize you"
GB Kedves, napoljuk el ezt a beszelgetest akkorra, amikorra nem teremt masokban feszultseget. Jovok egy masik napon majd. Es koszonom hogy megismerhettelek :-)
semmi nem fenekig tejfel az itt-es mostban... A kulso nem szabad hogy megtevesszen. Sem a varosok, sem az emberek, sem dolgok tekinteteben... SEmmiben, amit fizikainak nevezunk...
Az teny, hogy az emberelet megnehezedett, besurusodott, felgyorsult, igy az embernek maganak is uj kepessegekkel kell felszerelkeznie, hogy az adott, megnehezedett korulmenyek kozott kepes legyen megis sajat utjat megtalalni, s fejlodni... a boldogsagok es nehezsegek ellenere vagy inkabb veluk...
Montreal egy muveszettel atitatott varos. Minden porcikajaban a muveszetrol vall, legyen szo barmirol. Az europai francia kultura rezeg a lelkekben. Bar Kanada egyik legnagyobb varosa, nem csupan a francia nyelv miatt kulonul el az orszagtol, hanem egesz 'lenyisegeben'... Nemsokara kezdodnek a hires Montreali Jazz Napok... Az utcak tele vannak zeneszekkel... varj csak, van egy fotom errol, a Metroban egy harmonikas lany... vagy majd kesobb berakom... A szinek, formak es minden, amihez a varosnak koze lehet, a szepsegrol vall :-) A franciak bohokas emberek, szeretik a vidamsagot, es akiben lelket tapasztalnak, annak megfogjak a kezet es el sem engedik...
Szivesen jottem ide vissza. Hallgatom a radiot (Radio Villa Marie), katedral music spiritual conversation, mindenbol a nyitottsag, oszinte emberseg sugarzik...
Ha eroskodunk, akkor nem ismerjuk fel az utat... El kell engedni az izmot, a gondolatot, oda kell tudnunk adni magunkat s cserebe a Mindent kapjuk :-)